Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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