Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
