when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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