Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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