There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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