Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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