i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize