She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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