The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
