p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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