but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
