hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
