your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
