you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize