wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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