lets start a swedish sibling band together
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
