Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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