She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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