Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
