Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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