if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
