Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize