But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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