My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
