Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
