More tranny stories later!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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