i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I can't turn off my feet"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
