currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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