Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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