Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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