go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
