You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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