Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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