I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
