Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
