Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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