The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize