WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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