she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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