I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
