She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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