he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
