She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
