I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
