we're blogging at a bar
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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