does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
