I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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