Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
All I want is dick and wine.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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