kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
