We're facebook friends in real life
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do you remember whose house we're in?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
