He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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