my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
