come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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