I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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