I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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