We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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