I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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