i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
