Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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