you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
