like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
